And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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