You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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