My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just tell him i said nine months
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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