I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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