Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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