Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize
