update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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