8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize