Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
