some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
