What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
