did you get engaged???
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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