Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
