Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sorry my hands just texted you
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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