At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's official drugs can't kill me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize