It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
