who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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