Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
