My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
