I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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