Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
