He uses pillows to masturbate.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
