Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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(845): View more from New York

Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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(815): View more from Illinois

thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.

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(248): View more from Michigan

"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."

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(425): View more from Washington

can jess come too?

(901): View more from Tennessee

sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.

(425): View more from Washington

she comes with her own booze, no worries.

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