If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
