Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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