I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
