I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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