we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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