I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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