I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
