Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
