# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
