this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
