oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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