New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Do vagina's smell?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
