And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
