Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
