we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
