I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
