I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
