I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
