Dual....:-)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
