How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
