Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
