Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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