It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
And then he peed in my hair
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