All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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