I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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