Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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