I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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