wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
