from now on my penis is your penis
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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