just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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