She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Pants are for mortals
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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