never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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