So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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