Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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