Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have fence marks all over my body
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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