Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
