Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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