i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
