her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
