well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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