He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
