You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
