Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize