Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
