Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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