Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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