I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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