just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
